Relationship jokes
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
ky you def like her
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!