Relationship jokes

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?

A family portrait.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

Your mother.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

I have a secret crush on your momma.

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.