Relationship jokes
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Memes
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!