My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
Relationship Jokes
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
