Relationship jokes
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!