I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Relationship Jokes
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
