Relationship jokes
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
Your mother.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.