Relationship jokes
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.