Relationship jokes

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?

A doppelgangbang.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they can't call anyone their dad.

Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.