Relationship jokes
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Memes
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever šš
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Doin' ya mom oh yeah oh yeah, doin' doin' ya mom!
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
What did Jim say to Jeff?
"I killed your ham."
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed Iām on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. š¤”š¤”š”