Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Relationship Jokes
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
Are you a race car?
Cuz Iām tryna fuck.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
My dad hits me :(
Can you fuck me, please?
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Hi! I love my dog.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
