Relationship jokes
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.