Relationship jokes

What’s the difference between women and condoms?

There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?

I love Bubba girls and yea.

Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?

Who cares?

Masturbation is better than rough sex.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.

She does not exist.