Relationship jokes

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?

A dumpling.

Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."

She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."

Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

What do you call an emo dating another emo?

The suicide duo.

What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?

Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?

Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.

Knock, knock!

"Is that daddy?"

No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!

Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.

What did the first guy say to the second?

Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?

"I'm stronger than you."

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.

and found that in all the videos his father is...

I'm hard right now.

'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)

Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

Mum?

Mum?

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

I finally got my wife to shut up.

Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!