Relationship jokes

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The ten minutes of silence.

What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?

It’s just a rental.

Q: Why is marriage not a word?

It's a life sentence!

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"