
Relationship jokes
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
