Relationship jokes
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
My dad left me.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."
i should say this
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
The thing my mom birthed.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
"Princess, let's talk!"
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.