Relationship jokes
Your mom.
Your dad!
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Why do sisters hate you?
Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.