Relationship jokes
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
I have fun with my friends.
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
ky you def like her
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."