Relationship jokes

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They don't have anyone to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

I bet you like men!

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.

What company do orphans hate the most?

S. C. Johnson, a family company.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.