Relationship jokes

My family.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

Do you have a halo?

'Cause I can give it to you.

Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?

Because he is the only one.

I have fun with my friends.

They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.

I love you, Hebrew John.

I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.

Your dad must be a mailman.

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

What do you call Holly and Elenji?

A couple.

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.