Relationship jokes
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!