Relationship jokes
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
me with everyone
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis? A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."
Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*
*Wakes up in an adoption center.*
Damn, it was those kind of papers.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.