Relationship jokes
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
Your dad.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."