Relationship jokes
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Why woman?
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.