Relationship jokes
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Memes
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
His gay ass dad.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Your mom.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"