I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Relationship Jokes
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
I have a girlfriend.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
