Relationship Jokes

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows a woman with blonde braided hair and a nose ring looking up into the camera, with text overlay reading 'help me stepbro, i'm stuck'. The bottom panel shows Rick Astley smiling, with text overlay reading 'you know the rules and so do i'.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”