Relationship jokes
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Love you baby :^
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Mert has no dad.
Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.