Relationship jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off!

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."

Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

My dad is nice!