Relationship jokes
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.