Relationship jokes
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
That one depressed friend.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.