Relationship jokes
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.