Relationship jokes
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"