Relationship jokes
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
Ur mom gay.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
"What is your number?" "Hi."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.