Relationship jokes
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
When an African has a twin, your me??
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Toaster Strudel
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."