Relationship jokes

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

That one depressed friend.

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

My mom is bad and my dad is bad.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"