Relationship jokes
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "Daddy!"
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)