Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Relationship Jokes
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?
"Billie Jean is not my lover!"
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
