Relationship jokes
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
Memes
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.