Relationship jokes
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
I love pussy.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.