Relationship jokes
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."
Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."
Bully: "Haha, nice joke."
Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."
Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."
Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.