Relationship jokes
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?
"You're the ying to my yang!"
I miss Gwen.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...