Relationship jokes

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

My mom said don't fuck whores.

So I kicked my step sis out the house.

Why aren't orphans gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Why do orphans like to be gay?

So they can call someone "daddy."

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

I fucked your mom.

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"