Relationship jokes
Fatherless jokes.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.