Relationship jokes
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Why go across town when you can go across the hall?
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Oh, brother!
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I pregnoot.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???