Relationship jokes

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."

She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.

Why do orphans play tennis?

Because it's the only love they get.

Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?

Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

Technoblade never got a wife.