One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
You and Jason in your bed.
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
