Red Jokes

The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"

A blonde, burnette and a red-head are running from the police. They come across an old shack, with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the burnette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the red-head. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POtaTOES!!" And gets arrested.

A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"

Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"

what is white with red all over.........JFK

Roses are red my mental health is blue Karen got no mom like you.

I'm actually against abortion Just go to the car wash and tell em you ate too much red pasta

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

roses r red

idk what is brass

I tell myself

don’t touch grass

What's red, small, wet and crawls up your leg? - A homesick abortion

what has two legs and is red all over?

half a cat

What is blue but smells like red paint? - Blue paint

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset, she said it’s to small, so that’s all, but later that day, he wanted to say, every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lieing, she started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all, everyone said, fly away big chunky balls.

I like my girls like I like my wine. 12 years old and locked in my basement.

Roses are red The sun isn't shining My mental state Is rapidly declining

Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this