Red jokes

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?

A homesick abortion.

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.

Q: What's black, white and red all over?

A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.

Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

What's black, white, and red all over?

A bi-racial car wreck.

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.