Red Jokes

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roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u

what's black and red and is a liquid? my scars!

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

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Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks... "Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet

what goes 200 mph and is red??????????

babies in a blender

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue. What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

I kicked into someone Ball.Now i got a red Card

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".

What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?

Paul Walker’s Porsche

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night