Red jokes

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?

Because they're recording.

Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.