Red jokes
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.