Red

Red Jokes

Marriage

Roses are red, violets are blue.

YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...

Titty

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

Weapon

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

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  • Insult

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

    Paint

    A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

    Fisher

    Roses are red, fishers are fishing,

    I really hope you’ll be reported missing.

    Roast

    Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

    Toaster

    Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

    Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.

    Rose

    Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

    Secret

    Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!

    Killer

    Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

    Man

    Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

    Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

    Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

    Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

    What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

    What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

    How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

    What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

    What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

    Rose

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!

    Rape

    Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.