Red

Red jokes

Nickel

  • Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

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  • Blonde

  • A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

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  • Michael Jackson

  • What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

    Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

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  • Word

  • Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

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  • Paint

  • A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

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  • Poo

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

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