Recreation Jokes

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?

You can beat an egg.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

Dad joke.

Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?

Because of a hole in one!

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t get to home run!

Where do golf players practice?

Near a gulf.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.