Recreation jokes
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was in a wheelchair! 🤣🤣
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.