Recreation jokes
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
Having sex while camping is fucking in-tents.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Pool testing 123.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Bass-Drop.
What is the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.