Reaction

Reaction jokes

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Man

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Finger

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.

Lady

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

Diarrhea

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Orphan

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

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  • Pencil

    Do trees pee?

    How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

    My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

    Me "OH NO" 💀

    Bird

    People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

    Attitude

    My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

    Child

    How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

    Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

    School Shooter

    When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

    Pen

    My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

    We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

    Coconut

    My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

    So I threw a coconut at her.

    Mama

    Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

    Tiger

    One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"