Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What's the time? How would I know?
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
What do you call a PEIS?
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage. Child: But why? · Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why?
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
