Question jokes
But why?
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"