Put jokes
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Memes
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
You really put the R in special.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.