Put Jokes

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

A couple is embracing in a kitchen. The woman is holding a plate. Text on the image reads: "Stop it. I'm trying to put a load in the dishwasher." The man replies with "Yeah... Me Too!"

What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."