Put jokes

Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?

"Put it in my bill."

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Family are together playing charades.

Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

I put the D in Children.