Put jokes
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
I put the D in Children.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"