Put jokes
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Wordle be like (pt3)
Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.
STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛
FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚
MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚
YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"