Puns
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Puns, that's how I roll.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.