Puns
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.