Puns
What do you call an Asian k9? E10
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!