Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" -- The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey... but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it
Two artists had an art contest. -- It ended in a draw.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
