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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

Once I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

I have a fear of speed bumps

But i am slowly getting over it

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.