What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Pretty tear-able, huh?
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
Why did the coffee file a police report? – Because it was mugged.
Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork,
But bigger ones need a crane.