What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

Wanna hear a terrible Joke?


Pretty tear-able, huh?

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

Why did the coffee file a police report? – Because it was mugged.

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.

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