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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.

It was a shitzu

Man, chocking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die

I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…

It was tense.

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no bell prize.

Why did the electron leave the atom? Because it had its Ion someone else.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

What do you call a Communist sniper? – A Marxman.