If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
how does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands