So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish
There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
When we were visiting the hoover dam. I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, “Wheres the dam snack bar?”
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. – It’s nice to have a bit of company.
I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but what do to wrights make? The first airplane.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender