What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

I have a fear of speed bumps

But i am slowly getting over it

I am a big fan of whiteboards I find them quite re-markable

I know it’s cheesy, but I feel grate.

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.

Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but what do to wrights make? The first airplane.

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?


So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? – He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

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