Animal

Anonymous

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.

Animal

Anonymous

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Funeral

Anonymous

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

6

Riddles

Anonymous

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

5

Poor

Anonymous

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.

8

Anonymous

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

6

0xFFA715

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.

joey drew

People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.

Anonymous

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

Rick

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

2

Hannan Janjuaa

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.

I should put a little more backbone into them.

Cut

Anonymous

How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipes it!

0

Man

Anonymous

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

2

Doctor

Anonymous

Why did the library book go to the doctor? -- It needed to be checked out.

Animal

Anonymous

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."

2

Animal

Anonymous

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Itenticle.

9

FAR

Anonymous

"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."

1

N

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

1

Overwatch_Gamer321

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A sentient keyboard

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'