Puns
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
If trees could kill you, they wood.