Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'