Puns
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.