I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says "A beer please! and one for the road!"
You know, Ebay sucks. I was looking for a lighter and it gave me 18,906 matches
I would tell you a recycling joke
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over
I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover there butt quacks.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
when i ask my dad did i get adopted he said not yet no one wants you
where do t rexs shop dino stores.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun." Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?" Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?" Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna." Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?" Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Why do ballerinas wear tutus? The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? Are you all right?!?!
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan't to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
