Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…

It was tense.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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