Puns

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!

How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

how does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

I have a fear of speed bumps

But i am slowly getting over it

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

What did the lungs say to the cigar?? 'You take my breath away...'

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees