Anonymous

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

4
Anonymous
in Animal

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

Anonymous

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

Big Daddy

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

punny

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

3
Sub2ElephantProductions

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

6
Anonymous
in Animal

Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

2
Anonymous

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

2
Anonymous

Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

1
Anonymous

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

5
sans

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

2
Anonymous
in Animal

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

5
LavaHound2017

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

Overwatch_Gamer321

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

Anonymous

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

7
Anonymous

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

2
Anonymous

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

8
Gould

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

8
Anonymous

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

6
Anonymous

Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

1