Cat

Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!

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  • Funeral

    I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

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  • Law

    A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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  • Dad

    I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

    But when I got home, all the signs were there.

    Cow

    Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.

    Karma

    Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.

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  • Misunderstanding

    When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

    He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

    Flag

    What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.

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  • Light

    Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    Aim

    My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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  • Shovel

    What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

    It is ground breaking!

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