What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.