Puns
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Bread?
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Meow meow meow meow :p
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
Gay shit.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.