Puns
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
you.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
You really gay. No questions added.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.