Puns
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
My dick itches.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
Fuck off!
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!