I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
Puns
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
Fuck off!
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
