Puns

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

What does a nosey paper do?

It gets "Jalapeño" your face!

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

My Butterfingers slipped.

What's green and is dangerous?

Kermit with a flip knife.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

My life.

"Julius Caesar" isneezer

Me: Hey, what book are you reading?

Him: "The Twisted Ones."

Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.

What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?

Answer: A bath bomb.

I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"