Puns

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

My fish puns aren't on porpoise.

Murder: Wanna play a game?

Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)

Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!

“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”

“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”

If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.

Me: Gay puns are the best!

Also me: But I'm straight though.

Why are mice bad singers?

They are very cheesy.

Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

This website!

I have a trombone.

Ya nan!

Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?

What do you call an old snowman?

Answer: Water.

"Time"? More like waiting.

*insert pun here*

Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.

Are we supposed to submit jokes?

This website.

Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?

Me: Hey, what book are you reading?

Him: "The Twisted Ones."

Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.

I'm Clueless.

By M. T. Head.