Puns
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
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If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.