Puns

Subscribe to PewDiePie!

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?

'Cause he made his home run.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

What separates snowmen from snow-women?

Snow balls.

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?

A Tri-cycle.

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.