Puns
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles? They are fucking immature kids!
Hey Max, what's up? The sky.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! XD
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
This website!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!