Puns
MooMooMooMoo
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
Diarrhea.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
Star Wars jokes:
Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.
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I knead bread.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."