Puns

What are fish not allowed to have?

Seaweed.

What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.

Son, we are geniuses!

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?

"Get in the Batmobile!"

Buh dum tish.

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

I have a joke about construction. I'm still working on it.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

Armless child: Can you give me a hand??

Me: Ok.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.

My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.