Puns

What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?

Cauliflower.

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?

Post Office.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You're pointless!"

Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"

Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

sans *a'm i pune*

*piris* no.

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!